Feedback is a Skill

For this week's reflection on balancing your creative endeavors with working full time, I wanted to talk about feedback.

Wednesday night I met with my writer's group to go over some pages of a short story I've been working on.

And let me tell you, they had a TON of feedback for what I'd written. I was honestly surprised at just how many suggestions they had for how I could improve. At the end of our discussion, I had pages of notes.

Looking back, I would have struggled with this kind of feedback. The fact that 99% of it was constructive and not necessarily positive would have upset me. I dreaded days in college when my screenplays were due to be read in class and I'd have to sit there silently while I received feedback, both good and bad. Same with performance reviews at work - it was hard to ignore the blood rushing to my face, feeling my ears get warm as I sat in my embarrassment during these reviews.

But there is a difference between feedback given by people who are truly invested in you and your growth, and those who aren't invested. They may still be trying to give feedback from an authentic place with an intention to improve, but you can still feel the difference.

Wednesday night, even though my writer's group had A LOT to say about how I could improve this story, I could detect the passion and excitement beneath their criticisms, as they could see the potential with what I was trying to build, and they were energized in helping me get there. So even though there was a lot to be improved, I felt energized and ready to revise when it was over.

Being a writer has helped me immensely in giving and receiving feedback, but also in recognizing helpful, solution driven feedback, and unhelpful, maybe even harmful feedback. It's a skill I'm glad I have, even if gaining it came from being put in quite a few situations I was uncomfortable with.

But also, don't write off the feedback you might initially think is unhelpful. As I learned in screenwriting, sometimes even if you disagree with the issue someone brings up, take a second look at the section they're pointing out, because there might be an issue there worth addressing, even if their diagnosis is incorrect.

Keep creating you wild bunch of outlaws.